which of these?

You know, reading Ravi Zecharias' 'Jesus among other Gods', it got me thinking alot.

And this morning, the line that made me ponder was this:

Do we see things in terms of time or eternity?

Not that we can, but it is only with us accepting the 'from everlasting to everlasting' of our Christ, then through Him and in God, we can start to try to grasp the concept of eternity.

Which, as beings that are created and finite, to think in the infinite, is quite unthinkable. 

Yet, we are given a glimpse into the infinite, through Christ.

And so, knowing that our God is a sovereign God. Can we see eternity in the little things around us?

But i guess the greater question is, beyond the eternity, or rather in line with that, can we see God in the things around us?

I guess, that question begotten a deeper question that is within me for awhile already:

Do we see more me, or more God, in the things I do?

And if we can't be honest, then I think the answer is obvious.

Left outside?

Interesting how devotion, and sermon had a central theme, that reminded me of a saying:

"the church exists for those outside of it"

So true isn't it? It's as if we live in a bubble where everything exists for somehow only for those we see and minister to within the church. And not only that, we tend to pull people into this bubble with us. 

As we played football today, it occurred to me how apparent this is. It's like we don't have enough defenders, and we call a striker back to fill that post. On the surface we solved the defensive problem, but there are still problems: the striker now has to do something he can't do well, and we now lack a striker! 

So many times, we just try to patch problems by shifting internally, and somehow these internal technicalities overshadow the greater need: the need for us to move out to minister to those outside. Why is it that only if they come into the church then they qualify for what we have to offer? We could easily just bring that love outside the church right?

And so, I see so much value in what a dear brother and mentor is doing with Rugby. He is bringing his love and passion of the sport, and also the love and discipleship of Christ to a team of boys who had brushes with the law. Through rugby, he trains them, trains with them, plays games with them, gets bruised up together, and fundamentally, just loves them. And it's just awesome to see so many other Christian brothers coming alongside to work with these wayward youths, and to just believe in them, build them, and love them. Even though they are so far outside the church.

We all have different languages that we speak best with. Music, sports, gaming, cooking, lame jokes....doesn't matter what it is. 

Most important, do you know, and you willing to do church through it?

So that no one is left alone outside.

hopefully soon and i find someone on the same schedule........right.

nowadays, the elders have a different way of asking me about marriage.

It used to be just blatantly, "when are you getting married?"

Now it's, "You seem to love kids alot, do you have any of your own? Oh no you're not married, you should, and then have your own!"

Yeah.........................................it just happens like that right, marriage?

Queen sang this before....

but seriously, I'm puzzled.

but seriously, I know where I must go.

but seriously, it's a 'the-show-must-go-on' kind of situation.

but seriously, it's not my show that matters for now, but it's God's.

It must go on.

Though...........

If life were just 2 sentences...

If your life, once over, could be summarized into sentences, one from men, one from God, what would it be?


Truly mine would be:


“Surely this was a righteous man.” (Luke 23:47)


“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43)


It was either being in paradise, or being commended with 'well done good and faithful servant'. But I have my reasons. 


To me this means the end of my work on earth. It means no more toiling, and strife. It means a rest from everything except worship and adoration. Aaaaaaah...


But before then, I guess, with or without the things of the world, with or without the things of the heart, that I start living a life of worship and adoration, so that when this is all over, it actually just carries on. 


A life of worship and adoration, a lifestyle of pursuit of God. 


This never ends. 

Moratorium.

Facebook kills focus.
I need focus.
So.
I don't need facebook.
Until I get work done.

Until I get my head and heart straightened out.

Maybe staying out's the better option.

Until I can learn to keep my eyes on the things that matter.

sigh.......the heart is a hard one to control.

phew...

Everything is like this. A step at a time.

And making honesty a lifestyle is also like this.

I have realized the difference between being honest and lying.

And, I grew up being proud of being able to lie awesomely, but now i'm not proud of that anymore.

Anyway, the difference is very simple, the struggle is either before telling (truth), or after (lying).

Once it is out, there is freedom to be, there is nothing to hide behind.

However once it is hidden, then everything will be to keep it hidden.

That is tiring, draining, and such a bondage.

I choose freedom, one step at a time.

And through God, I chose honesty last night.

And like what I put on facebook last night,

รู้แล้วดีกว่า (ruu laew dee gwa)

Yes. :)

how?

you know.....today, through a dear friend, I suddenly realized that the 'ask' that has been presented to me was actually not to ask Him.

And so I am transported back to a year ago.

It was terrifying. It was very uncertain. But there was closure and I could focus on the things that I needed to do.

Now, it is terrifying still, and very uncertain. But I need closure, to focus on the things that I need to do.

Stepping into the ocean, either I become a fool, again, or I float.

so difficult....yet so essential.

so asking is actually.....

As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet,

but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

Luke 18:35-43

You know a few days ago, what I wrote about he dichotomy.

but God taught me so much from the passage above.

The blind man had faith. So much that he called out, then shouted out to Jesus. And asked Jesus.

And Jesus replied: ...your faith has healed you.

Wow.

I was wrong!

Asking is proclaiming in confidence that which faith has prompted us to believe!

Ok Lord, I'm gonna start now.

Or there is nothing else..

To Honour God.

Above all else.

Despite all circumstances.

Beyond our comprehension.

And somehow,

beyond our comprehension,

despite all circumstances,

and above all else,

God honours us.

Hallelujah..what a faithful God! :)

they are but punctuations...no?

profoundly simple, yet simply profound, its effects, and i guess, what is attached to them. Perhaps the interpretations cause it to be. But either way, in recent times, punctuations have formed their way to making me look like them.

this way:

:) begets :) both in the virtual sense, and in the physical sense.

and so on.

:)

So what?

Even as I ponder on "If it is, He will", how powerful that is.

However powerful it is, if we won't, it defeats everything.

Quite like God is betrayed by men's free-will, of sorts.

And today, there came a follow up to the previous.

If it is, He will. So what?

The Lord impressed upon me that,

If He will, We should.

That whatever He has willed for us, we should: be obedient, be courageous, be humble. We should.

So...

If it is, He will.
If He will, We Should.

What's next? I don't know, but I'm learning to be as 'should' as I can.

Dichotomy.

If it is, He will.

I strongly believe.

But "Ask." He now says.

I don't know how.

Yet.

Because I strongly believe.

If it is, He will.

Revived...maybe?

It's been too long. And seeing the last post as more than a year ago, I doubt that anyone drops by.

But, anyhow.

So much has changed in the past 2-3 years. And even from a year ago, God has really taught me so much.

I realize that I really enjoy dialoguing with God, and that is why I truly enjoy long bus rides, train rides, and mostly the time alone in HK. I'm not saying I enjoy the singleness, no. I enjoy the solitude, and I almost always have done it since being in HK in 2009, but it was too subtle to realize.

And in that dialogue, God just speaks so much to me. I recount my days, my fears, my desires, my challenges, my inadequacies, and myself. And it's amazing how the answer to everything is always that simple: Him.

Just these few weeks, I have learnt an important truth, for myself (disclaimer).

There's been someone on my mind...it's been a while, but that's not the main point. Thing is it's been more recently, and somewhat to the point where I start to feel like I was back in school chasing skirts, only this time it's so different. The me back then has more guts. haha.

Back to the story.

She has been on my mind, quite a bit. And it was making me emo (I'm just being honest). But thank God for a precious reminder: how can I think of her more than I think of Him? It was reeling out of control, in some sense, and there was so little of God in the process. And as I always try to encourage others to consider God in the process, I thank the Holy Spirit for this reminder, to include Him in the process again.

So anyway, it was a humbling process coming back to Him, and making Him the centre. You know, there is a phrase that came to me,

Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between two people sitting just side by side.

And there were many times it did feel like it, especially today. But I thank God that as I worked through that distance, He reminded me of this from Psalms 103:11-12

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

And now at the end of the day, it is just amazing to be reminded that in places we feel that we are the furthest and mostest end, the love of God is also there. However far we feel, the love of God is so much greater still.

And so the answers to almost all my dialogues is just this: making Him and putting Him back to where He should be: the centre. Our centre.

But, it has been a really good day.

:)

Can I?

at the store.

Zaphen: 'Kor kor Wayne, can I play game on your phone?'

Me: 'No, I will let you play only when we are on the train ok?'

Zaphen: 'Ok.'

At Macdonalds.

Zaphen: 'Kor kor Wayne, can I play game on your phone?'

Me: 'No, I will let you play only when we are on the train ok?'

Zaphen: 'Ok.'

At Nike.

Zaphen: 'Kor kor Wayne, can I play game on your phone?'

Me: 'No, I will let you play only when we are on the train ok?'

Zaphen: 'Ok.'

Walking to the trains.

Zaphen: 'Kor kor Wayne, can I play game on your phone?'

Me: 'No, I will let you play only when we are on the train ok?'

Zaphen: 'But we are near the train already.'

Me: 'Zaphen, do you trust me?'

Zaphen: 'Yes.'

Me: 'If you trust me, how come you keep asking?'

At that moment, I felt God answering me too.

Iceberg!

Praise God! It was something unplanned for, to share on saturday evening's worship. And although I was anxious and nervous about the whole thing, when it came, and when I was done, it was quite an awesome experience!

God is good. He has always been gentle with me in this aspect, the 'first' crowd that I face in the different phases has always been less judgmental kinds, and I thank God for the brothers and sisters at Rock. We had about 30-ish brothers and sisters, and they have been so encouraging with their feedback, and it really serves as a great sending-off gift.

Just because I was pretty ok with presentations in polytechnic and then in the army, i thought conducting a class would be the same, and I was so wrong. Through this weekend, I have learnt that there is so much to a proper lesson, the planning, the 'rehearsal', the familiarity with the topic and it has been such a humbling experience.

I think in such lessons, it is how much we value those we speak to, those we share with. The more we value or respect our crowd, the better we would prepare ourselves, our materials. And for us who love God, whatever we do is really not for ourselves, and not for men, and if that is the case, the lesson is really for Him. I value and respect and Love Him alot. And all these time I have not really realized that as I share, it really is to Him, and for Him. And that means I need to REALLY prepare my stuff. =)

Long long road..

Sorry, i know i have been really quiet, and have not been updating..but the thing is that I got really busy after chinese new year. I will try to update before tmrw ends, well, ok, before lunch tmrw, but that's provided I finish preparing and translating my lesson 1 by then.

God has been really good, but I'm still quite a way from being really good too. 加油！

80% In!

The past 2 days have been busy with receiving furnitures, assembling and unpacking, and also cleaning. Mum would be glad to know that i actually bought 3 cloths for $2 to clean my metal gate, and wiped down other stuff, and also got a vacuum to clean up the place.

Thank God for 2 brothers who came up to help me assemble the furniture and thus am quite done with the place. So here are some pictures of the place!

After assembling and unpacking.

Still unpacking.

Unpacked.

West Ham Flag UP (From Bryan when he went UK)!!

View from the door.

View from the other corner.

After wiping the gate, and rinsing it twice. It was dirty.

View from the step after lights out.

From the foot of the bed. I knocked my head lying down on that ledge.

Praise & Thanks to God for how smooth the move has been and how many people have come forward to pass me things and offer help. Really appreciate the love and care & concern of them. Still have a lot of small things to get though. After last night, I realized that there is a shop opposite the road that is open 24hours, coz everytime I turned during the night, the spotlights were shining in my eyes. =(

Counting the costs..

This moving has taught me much..about measurements, about budgeting, about necessity, about the smaller things. And I thank God for this experience, coz at least now I have a clearer idea of what there is to do before moving in.

But..in Hong kong, all is so expensive..sigh...got a bed, loft, sofa bed, wardrobe, cupboard & a fridge and it costs a bomb..

Everything except the shelf/cupboard is coming on tuesday and I'm excited to fix it all up and move in! =) then prepare for inner mongolia!

Roof!

My place! is 2 stops after MongKok on the red line. My office is at Sheung wan, on the blue line.

And thanks to IKEA Home Planner, this is what my place looks like!

Below is one view.

And here another view.

No, I will not be getting a bench for the room, but i saw a smaller sized sofa-bed which would give me space to maybe place another cabinet on the side. As there is no pantry and no kitchen area, the microwave/ rice cooker (free one!) may need to go on top of the fridge, and the cupboard beside the fridge would be to put all the food utensils and pots and eating/cooking stuff. The bunk bed is for practicality. I would use the top as a big shelf to put my luggage and other stuff..as you can see the flat is quite small.

But I am excited! I have the keys, i have a roof, but i have no bed! haha..

Anyway, more about where I will be staying at..its about 20 minutes by train to work, and about 40 minutes to Church. SSP has a famous computer centre, and the street that I stay on has lots and lots of food. 3 streets away is the famous Aplieu Street that sells lots of accessories and electronics stuff. Its literally like my playground. haha..

So, tmrw I am intending to move some things over, and if i have enough time, maybe head down to get a bed first, i'm hoping to move in before wednesday or somewhere around there..it'd be great to finally not live out of a suitcase. =)

Another Wedding!

Long, long overdue.

New place!

So this is how big it really is.

It measures 14 * 7.75 of my timberlands end to end.

just so you have and idea.

I'm excited.

God is so good. He never fails to make me excited before I get on a plane! =)

Gloire a Dieu!

Would you regret?

So I will be going to inner mongolia for Chinese New Year.

Leaving Shenzhen for Beijing on 13th Eve.

Beijing to Xilinhot on 14th AM.

Xilinhot to Beijing 16th AM.

Beijing to Shenzhen 16th PM.

Weather is now -16 to -14 degrees.

Why am I going? I don't know too. All I know is that I was initially prompted to go, and after prayers for a week, and almost giving that up, a thought came in,

"if this moment went past, would you regret not going?"

After that I went to book my tickets.

Talking to my coworker she remarked that in our 5 minute conversations, I mentioned alot of "I don't know"s, and truly it is so.

But I am excited to experience what God has installed for me there. And I really want to take some nice pictures there (God willing), if not, I will be reading and just spending time with Him in the really cold weather.

Nice. =)

Landed in HK with an answered prayer!

Writing after a long hiatus with great apologies. But this is something I have to put down, to testify again how God listens to even the smallest requests, and He's been doing that for the past few days.

Passport: I couldn't find my passport 2 days ago, and after searching for it frantically, I asked God for help to find my passport, and within 3 minutes, I searched the same places and I found it.

God 1, Unbelief 0

Keys, Octopus card & HK$: Couldn't find these as I looked through all the places I thought I put, and after a while, I asked God again for help to find them, and within 2 minutes, I saw them placed nicely in the corner of my cupboard which I opened and didn't check properly.

God 2, Unbelief 0

Warm me up: Before getting off the plane, had prior knowledge of the cold weather in HK, so I asked God for His protection and warmth to surround me, and what happened made me smile and grin every moment of the way. After that prayer, I started to feel warm, like I haven't drank enough water and became heaty, and I thought I was going to get sick. But all the way from the plane to the baggage pick-up until I left the terminal the 'heat' never left me, then I realized that He was keeping me warm. Oh, I was only wearing a polo-t and jeans. Then towards the end, as I was at Central waiting for the train to Sheung Wan, I was actually perspiring. Heading out into the cold as I made my way to office, even in the midst of the blowing winds, I was kept warm. How else do we explain this?

Oh, as I was walking from HK station to Central, and as I acknowledged God keeping me warm, I saw/ imagined this aura around me..haha..i thought that was quite surreal, but after second thoughts, that may just be how it was. ;)

God: Win. Unbelief: Lose

Busy busy busy...

had a really busy weekend, and just somehow altogther, a month has passed since I've been back.

definitely settled back down in singapore, but have 2 months left, yet have so much to do..

anyhow, here is the video montage for Roy & Ruth's wedding over the weekend. 2nd try at wedding photography! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg80C27UDus)

happy happy day.

Yeah, a year older.

Thank you for all the changes you have done in my life.

Hallelujah!

But, now all I want is more of You in my life.

More of you and less of me.

Because when you were on the cross, it was already all of me and none of you.

The least I can do is do the same for you, as you have done for me.

Help me LORD to be a present to you.

Khit Teung Meung Thai!

oh man..coming to Phuket has rekindled something within my soul.

made me realize how much I miss it here.

Slowly picking up the thai that I lost, bantering with sales people, smelling the sabai lifestyle in the air, aahaan thai, and all the khon thais. =(

well, thank God i'm coming back again at the end of november.

time to pick up my thai again.

Anyway conference has been great: gym, quiet time, great worship, great fellowship, thai food!

I want to be a child again.

Back to SG!

I'm back to Singapore and i'm just so overwhelmed with thanksgiving!

Really, my heart is literally bursting with gratefulness to God for how He has loved me, looked after me, blessed me, been faithful to me, blessed me, drew me closer, loved me and saved me.

And though its a rather tight weekend before heading up to Phuket, in the pockets of time in between my heart is so overjoyed and grateful for how in these 6 months He has shown Himself and more to me, and oh what a privilege!

It brings me so much joy in these realizations that I can only exclaim "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

Saturday is different now, but now, the Joy of the Lord is my strength! Whoooo! Hallelujah.

I miss Rock. =)

8....7.....6.....

The last day here has been rather packed. Time-wise and emotionally too. Saying goodbyes isnt easy, and I have been blessed so much in the good-bye process.

Have finished packing, and its surreal how it feels like I just got here on 13th April.

It really is packing up a phase of my life. Albeit a very fruitful one.

And here is one of the hardest reason to leave HK. My dear Rock brothers and sisters, God has brought you into my life at the time when I needed you. And in that process you have blessed me, prayed for me, fed me, laughed at me (monkey), accepted me, and mostly, loved me. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all have allowed me to serve you and I have been blessed so much in that process.

Well, so now I am leaving this family:

and returning to this family.

It is another beginning in a familiar place. The same, but I have so many different things to do.

But through it all, God has been so good to me.

HE has given me so many people that love and care for me, so much love that I ask Him if I deserve so much?

He replies, that I do not, but is merely asking me to do Him a favour, to love these people as He has loved me.

And I am thankful for all of you in my life that I may continuously learn to love you, as you have loved me, as He has loved me.

Rock, I bid you farewell for now, but know that you will continue to stay dear to me. ='(

My dear brothers and sisters in Singapore, here I come. Peace time is over! haha.

A different step of faith?

Head knowledge of faith.

Head knowledge of giving.

Head knowledge of the omnipotence of God.

Translating these to actions.

That's where we get stuck.

And I believe with each new prompting, each non-response, we should open up more to translating from our heads to our hearts to from our hands.

It was thrilling, and comforting.

Yes, Daddy. I am still learning, but I am starting to do it already.

Thank you for your patience, and faithfulness. =)

This is our thing.

The way You placed this number in my life, and how you've reminded me, and now you've showed me. I cannot imagine being in such a position, but this will be something I will cling on to.

Like Joseph. *wink*

That little cloud on a bright sunny day..

So did that cloud block the sun and cause the darkness?

or

Was it I who walked into the place where the sun is blocked by the cloud?

I don't know. And leaving next week is not making things easier.

Here Lord, my life, in an envelope, or a box.

Its stamped.

I only need the address.

Or grant me the peace at the knowledge of where I thought you asked me to write is correct.

Coz really, I don't want no other. =/

Oh how soon!

Only a few days ago did I write about desiring the next encounter with the Holy Spirit and it happened again tonight!!

It was not a coincidence that I finally got to start learning the names of God over the last 2 days.

Too powerful to put into words, but I just needed to put something down to praise God and to remind myself of tonight.

Jehovah-Rophe, our LORD the healer! Hallelujah!

and then the return.

It is kinda surreal, coz in my mind it felt like i just came like last week, but in fact I will be leaving Hong Kong for Singapore in about 2 weeks' time.

well the similiarity of this flight back and the flight here from Singapore is that I leave with a heavy heart. it is not that i am not looking forward to time with family, friends, rest, and local food. I don't know, i think it is just the thought of walking away from a place where:

• God has been so real to me
• God has brought me through so much unknowns
• God has taught me many lessons
• God has shown me His promises
• God has given me a family in ROCK & PTH @ ICA
• God has opened up an exciting path for the next few years

Maybe.

Probably its just being so comfortable basking in His presence and power that I am reluctant again to step out of it.

maybe I am just getting selfish and lazy for there are tasks for me to fulfill back in SG that would impact the future here.

Well. Thing is the ticket is bought, and i have to go, and I know God's timing is immaculate, and i have to be obedient. =)

Going back, I am humbled to say that I have changed. in what ways? i can only try to put them in words.

1. God to me, is no longer the God that seems to be playing hide and seek with me. There is no doubt in my heart, mind, soul, that He is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscience. simply put, i know where my God is, i know that I cannot hide anything from Him, and I know He can do

anything.

Sometimes these are so simple we don't try to reconcile them with our lives. And i am thankful for Him allowing me to learn all this so personally on this journey, in China and HK.

2. I have learnt to reconcile the fact that God has chose to do something great through me. I have always maintained (in my mind) that humility is really the baseline for being a Christian, and even as a person. And taking on the pilot OCS has seen God challenging me to accept this for almost 3 months.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." (1 Tim 4:12)

Uncle David used this line to encourage me as I talked to him about my struggle, when I felt so small in the midst of all that I was to do and achieve, that 'how can it be me?'. After that it got me thinking that if I do not rise up to take up these

challenges, yes I may be humble, but I am also robbing God an opportunity to be Glorified!!

That was a thought that made me really afraid, but I was still hesitant. It was not until God started to provide so many blessings that led up to the camp that I could not but go before Him and surrender myself, and accept it.

3. That I am more sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. It is really, a feeling, a sense. But being filled with the Holy Spirit has been awesome and has really unexplainable. My hands never shook so much before. Never felt buzzed and hot before. Never prayed til my hand shook before. And I desire the next time it happens.

well..it has been an amazing here but its only the beginning.

will see you guys soon, if you still check here!